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        There’s a crevice in the wall where she hides her little baby girl, all plastic smiles and mechanical giggles. She cuddles it like it has a soul and speaks to it like it has a name. Its soft rubber skin has been covered with paper hearts and marker stars, and its little plastic ears have been filled with whispers of adoration and love. Its wiry blonde hair has been crossed into braids, twisted up above its head, and she has pulled a dress onto its synthetic body with the brightest little smile. She reminds it that it’s beautiful, even though it can’t hear. She fastens it tight into the beaten pink stroller and skips behind it as it rolls across the pavement, dancing in the sun like there is no tomorrow and yesterday is only a dream.
        And maybe she's only six years old, but she knows how babies are made. Not the ones you buy in the store, the ones you have to tear out of the cruel plastic covering; those are the strangest mystery. No, she knows just where the soft little babies with the tiny tulip lips and rosy cheeks come from. They are the lily of the deepest river, the star in the clearest night. They are the embrace of the warmest arms, the sweetest kisses, the strongest love. What more could be so powerful as to fuse together a new, tiny life?


        And maybe she’s only fifteen, but she knows what it all means. Something as wonderful as love can’t be something you can mistake. His voice is like silver, silky velvet and his arms are like all that is holy. He holds the seasons in the palm of his hands, all time and all existence. And when those hands skim over her skin, she burns like she’s a hopeless disaster, drowning in a cold fire. She can feel the beat of every heart, she can hear the thoughts of every mind. She can see the future and she can relive the past. But only in his eyes.
        And there’s a little basket where she hides you, her little baby girl, deep inside her. It’s all smooth pink walls and soft red blankets, because only God knows your every need. And maybe your heart can’t beat and maybe your ears can’t hear and maybe your lips can’t smile, but your soul twists and writhes within you; you’re more alive than most, you’re more real than she once believed that tiny doll was. Coiling and uncoiling, swimming in life, growing and growing. Tiny fingers, tiny toes. A tiny little perfect face with a perfect little mind and a perfect little heart that stumbles through its first beats.
        And then your tiny little ears begin to hear and you can feel her every tear, every scream, every gasp of agony. Mommy, you whisper within your mind, because you’ll never have a voice within this safe place you call home. Oh, your voice could be just like that little doll, only more warm, more loving, more real and more beautiful.
        But cool metal touches your skin and you pull back, tiny fingers pushing it away.
        And then.
        Oh, God.
        And then you’re unraveling at the seams, being torn apart, being broken into a thousand pieces like a shattered mirror, the shards skidding across the cool tile like glittering stars across the sky. If you had a voice, you would scream because it burns like fire and it burns like hell, but you’ll never cry out the way she did. Your blood drips and slithers from her, spilling onto their hands, but it’ll all be washed away in time.
        Mommy, your tiny little pink lips open and close like a fish out of water. Mommy, I just wanted to meet you.


        And maybe she’s eighteen now, but everything’s different and everything’s the same. Mistakes come and mistakes go, but some wounds will never heal and some cuts will always bleed. She still hears your voice in her dreams and she still sees your face on that little doll, stowed far away in a cardboard box with other fragments of an unwanted childhood. And then she runs her fingers over a different box, cold and silver. Foreboding. Dangerous.
        There are choices in life and choices in death, and she knows she has a right to them all. No one could ever stand up and cry out to her; she has the right to give and the right to take away. It is her life. It is her being. It is her choice.
        So she pulls the trigger.
        And she unravels at the seams. It burns like fire and it burns like hell, and her blood drips and slithers from her wounds. But somehow her blood is still more valuable than yours will ever be.
something's that's been floating in my mind for a while.
i just finally tied it all together with pretty words and stuck it on here.

this got a daily deviation. oh my goodness, i feel so honored. thank you all so much!
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Daily Deviation

Given 2013-06-03
paper hearts. by *theresambraun is a heartfelt work of fiction providing a much-needed perspective from those who treasure every human life. Please remember to respect the writer's beliefs when commenting. ( Suggested by Estuari and Featured by Nichrysalis )
:iconsnikkipikkins:
SnikkiPikkins Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014
This is tragic, and very skillfully written.  Thank you for your words and your bravery.
Reply
:iconpolkadottedcoffeemug:
PolkaDottedCoffeeMug Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2014  Student General Artist
Ohmyfudge ohmyfudge ohmyfudge I'm trying, and failing, at holding in my tears. That was so... I don't even know... All I know is that that was amazing and I hope to write like that one day. Keep up the good work!
Reply
:icontheresambraun:
theresambraun Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2014  Student Writer
Awww, thank you so much! :hug:
Reply
:iconpolkadottedcoffeemug:
PolkaDottedCoffeeMug Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2014  Student General Artist
You're welcome! It's true! If I end up writing a good poem, would you mind checking it out if I sent you a note?
Reply
:iconspiderwebwisher:
SpiderwebWisher Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hello, I'm a contributor for LiteratureRoadtrip and you have been featured in this week's FRIDAY FEATURE! Thank you! :heart:
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:icontheresambraun:
theresambraun Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you so much! :heart:
Reply
:iconspiderwebwisher:
SpiderwebWisher Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
It's been my pleasure, you deserve it! 5 seconds hug 
Reply
:iconcolleentj:
colleentj Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh my God oh my God oh my God
I'm so emotional rn No, I disagree! Heart 
This was so short but s o o o powerful, and was beautifully written. Thank you.
Reply
:icontheresambraun:
theresambraun Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you so much! I'm glad it touched you! :hug:
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:iconcreativsis:
creativsis Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Itīs beautiful. Itīs very very beautiful.
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:icontheresambraun:
theresambraun Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you! :blushes:
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:iconbek1995:
BEK1995 Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Great job! This is really good!
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:icontheresambraun:
theresambraun Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you! :)
Reply
:iconbek1995:
BEK1995 Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:D
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:iconegghime:
Egghime Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Pretentious goop.
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:iconmeteor-echo:
meteor-echo Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hah, seconding this.
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:icontheresambraun:
theresambraun Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2013  Student Writer
Thanks for reading! :)
Reply
:iconfliaway:
Fliaway Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013
'Mommy, I just wanted to meet you.'
... and then the feels came crashing down like a brick. Oh god, I just can't... get out enough words that tell you how... this, this little story doesn't just tug at the heartstrings it tunes them.
Reply
:icontheresambraun:
theresambraun Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you so much! :hug:
Reply
:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013  Student General Artist
Ugh. It's quite scary but it's powerful too.
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:icontheresambraun:
theresambraun Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you. :)
Reply
:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2013  Student General Artist
You're welcome!
Reply
:icontales-of-tao:
Tales-of-Tao Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2013  Student General Artist
Powerful yet tender, if that makes any sense. This beautiful piece is so many different things at once. Fantastic work, and congratulations on the well-deserved DD. :heart:
Reply
:icontheresambraun:
theresambraun Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you so much! :hug:
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:icontales-of-tao:
Tales-of-Tao Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013  Student General Artist
You're very welcome. :squee:
Reply
:iconphotogenicsmiles:
photogenicsmiles Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for writing this- it cuts more than you can know, and in a bittersweet way.
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:icontheresambraun:
theresambraun Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013  Student Writer
Awww, thank you for reading. :hug:
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:iconvarsa-svasa:
Varsa-svasa Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2013
Definitely worthy of a DD.
Reply
:icontheresambraun:
theresambraun Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you! :blushes:
Reply
:iconryanisnasty:
ryanisnasty Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2013
Congratulations on the well deserved DD!
I hope you have a fantastic day!
:huggle:
Reply
:icontheresambraun:
theresambraun Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you so much! :hug: I hope you have a fantastic day, too!
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:iconryanisnasty:
ryanisnasty Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013
You're welcome :D
Thanks! :)
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:iconalkraas:
Alkraas Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Congratulations on the DD :)
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:icontheresambraun:
theresambraun Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you! :)
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:iconalkraas:
Alkraas Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You are very welcome :)
It was my pleasure :D
Reply
:iconmeteor-echo:
meteor-echo Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You do realize that, by the time a fetus can actually hear, it's around 24th week? So, judging by your story, either something was wrong with its development and thus the mother obtained a therapeutic abortion, or the mother could not obtain a legal abortion earlier and ended up getting an illegal one (which is a reason to feel sorry for the woman's health, not for the fetus). I like the manner of writing, but the contents are pretentious pro-life mush, which imply that women who get abortions become depressed enough to kill themselves, which is as far from reality as it can be.
Reply
:icontheresambraun:
theresambraun Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013  Student Writer
Actually, hearing can develop as early as 15 weeks. Legal abortions can happen at any point in the pregnancy for a multitude of reasons, depending on where the woman lives.

And I can assure you that while not all women who have abortions may become depressed, severe depression can and does happen with some post-abortive women. I have known people personally who have experienced that, and I know of a woman who did attempt suicide following her abortion. So you can't say it's "as far from reality as it can be," because that is very belittling to the women who have experienced that. It is reality for some women. This story tells the story of one woman, not all women, so it is not unlikely that she could have experienced that.
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:iconmeteor-echo:
meteor-echo Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
"Legal abortions can happen at any point in the pregnancy"
Lies. Even in the US, women's reproductive rights are systematically taken away, to the point where many states do not have clinics where a woman can obtain a legal abortion, much less a late-term one. Or there's a clinic or two, but for some women, it is too hard to reach them, with the costs of a several-day stay in another city, the other payments and whatnot. Besides, currently, the only reasons which allow second and third-trimester abortions are: rape and incest, danger to the mother's life, and possible fetal development issues. And no, this is not "a multitude of reasons".

And the story that you wrote is insulting and belittling for the women who do not feel sorry for their abortions, since they are bombarded constantly with the beliefs that their reactions are "abnormal", "cruel" and "wrong". Case in point: once had a pregnancy scare, and, believe me, I'd have killed myself if I were NOT able to obtain abortion in case I were pregnant.
As for hearing, apparently, multiple sources state that it develops between 18 and 24 weeks (individual cases are different). It's not legal to have an abortion at this time - only for the reasons I've previously mentioned. So no, not convinced.
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:icontheresambraun:
theresambraun Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013  Student Writer
Your facts are just plain wrong. Roe v. Wade legalized abortion for any reason at any time. First trimester abortions are always permissible, second trimester abortions may be restricted but not banned, and third trimester abortions may be banned if a state so chooses. And there are states where you can have an abortion at any point in the pregnancy. I live in one of them.

I am representing one person's experience in this piece of writing. If someone wrote a story about a character who died of cancer, would that be insulting and belittling to all the people who are survivors of cancer? It's frankly silly to suggest such a thing.
Reply
:iconmeteor-echo:
meteor-echo Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
"Roe v. Wade legalized abortion for any reason at any time."
Oh really?
[link]
Here's a choice quote:"The decision held that the state could not prohibit abortion in the first trimester of pregnancy; in the second trimester, states could issue regulations "that are reasonably related to maternal health"; and in the final trimester, once the fetus is viable beyond the womb, the state could regulate or even prohibit abortion except in cases "where it is necessary, in appropriate medical judgment, for the preservation of the life or health of the mother." That's the US of A, don't mix it up with Canada, where abortion is a non-issue.
Here's a list of abortion laws in each state: [link] I don't see "for any reason at any time" anywhere on he list, unless you're talking about early term abortions. What state do you live in, I wonder?

As for your comparison, it's incorrect. It's more like writing a story about a person who found out they had cancer, and decided they want to have the tumor cut out, then feeling ashamed of getting the tumor removed and killing themselves because of it. I can see some of your point, but it really does play into the all-too-popular pro-life trope that abortion = mental issues.
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:icontheresambraun:
theresambraun Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013  Student Writer
Do you not see the word "could" in that quote? It doesn't say states "will regulate," but "could" if they so choose. I live in Maryland, where abortion is in fact legal at any point, and later-term abortion can be done for "health" reasons, which can mean anything. For example, stress is a health concern, isn't it? I'm not assuming most pregnant women will wake up one day and say, "Ugh, I'm stressed, I'm going to go have an abortion today." I'm just saying that Maryland puts pretty much no regulations on the procedure in this respect, which is perfectly permissible through Roe v. Wade.

I am telling one character's story, and I am leaving it at that. If you expect me to apologize for my character's thoughts, feelings, and actions within this story, you haven't the slightest clue what it means to be a writer.
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:iconmeteor-echo:
meteor-echo Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Aaaand you don't understand a very simple fact: you're one of those lucky people who live in a state with decent laws and lots of abortion providers. No wonder you can't understand that second-trimester abortions are not exactly obtainable everywhere and that in most states - even most countries - second-trimester abortions can only be done illegally. The women in your state might become less lucky in the upcoming years, since Republicans are now actively trying to attack women's rights anywhere they can reach. I hope not.

As for your story, one really vital thing is missing in it - a passage between pregnancy and abortion, since you conveniently chose to describe the event from the fetus's point of view while carefully omitting the mother's. If you deliberated on the reason why she got an abortion, the story would've been much, much more meaningful, but as of now, there's nothing more to think about than of a woman who decided to not bring a child into her apparently unsafe home. Sorry, but you can't cover up poorly thought out structure by lots of epithets, it doesn't really work that way - at least as long as you want to be a half-decent writer. Being not as good as you think doesn't need apologizing, but doesn't deserve a DD either; I suppose that the mods were bored that day.
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:icontheresambraun:
theresambraun Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2013  Student Writer
Congratulations, you have degraded this conversation from half-thoughtful debate to petty insults. :shrug: Have a nice day.
Reply
(2 Replies)
:iconthisismyringtone:
thisismyringtone Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2013
yay, biology.
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:iconmeteor-echo:
meteor-echo Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Much better than "yay, schmaltzy fanfics".
Reply
:iconthisismyringtone:
thisismyringtone Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2013
lol
biology might be more better, but this wasn't supposed to be technical. It's a little story about abortion. Or something like that. Anyway, I don't think the author really cared about that biology fact. oh noes.
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:iconmeteor-echo:
meteor-echo Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
An argument that starts with "lol" might be not as good as you think.
This story is just the same as tons of pro-lifer crap out there on the net, talking about how abortion must inevitably lead to mental problems and possibly even suicide, and how women regret all the abortions they get. Which couldn't be any further from reality. Oh noes.
Reply
:iconthisismyringtone:
thisismyringtone Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2013
lol was the response to your comment.... Some people actually might do suicide but you're right, people get abortions and then they're back to living life. Anyways, just read the story and move on.
Reply
:iconmeteor-echo:
meteor-echo Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, it was a realllyyyy eloquent response, 11/10 would win a Pulitzer. Can't you think of anything even more original?
And anyways, I'll do whatever the fuck I want, and that includes not liking this so-called "story". Sorry not sorry, dudebro.
Reply
:iconthisismyringtone:
thisismyringtone Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2013
actually, I'm not really a dudebro. and chill with the language, even if you could 'do whatever the fuck you want' and no one is forcing you to like the story, and I never said to like the story either. just read the story and move on. What's the point in reading a story and lingering just to go hater mode? seriously, stop asking for attention. Wait. even if you didn't want attention you still got it. congrats. NOW move on with your life.
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